


No E-Mail Required

by idiotgrimes



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - No E-Mails, M/M, bram's such a mess and his mind sometimes goes a bit too NSFW, everyone needs a friend like garrett, some movie references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-06 05:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14050053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotgrimes/pseuds/idiotgrimes
Summary: “Moon-gray?” Garrett’s lounging on Bram’s bed, reading whatever Bram had doodled on his English worksheet. “I didn’t think you’d get in on the Simon-looks-so-good-in-eyeliner kick the girls are on, but I forgot you’re a poet.”Bram snorts, feet kicked up on his desk with his laptop on his thighs.“Leah said charcoal, you say moon-gray, I say pavement. Boring-ass pavement.” Garrett huffs. There’s a pause, then, “I could pull off guyliner, don’t you think?”





	No E-Mail Required

Thinking back on it, Bram supposes he’s had a crush on Simon since freshman year. The moment Nick introduced them second semester, Bram remembers adding _Simon Spier_ to his mental list of past (and now present) crushes.

  * Mr. Sexual Awakening
  * Jon Snow
  * Garrett Laughlin
  * Simon Spier



But that’s all it is. A crush, nothing more.

Garrett and Bram settle in, make good friends out of Nick, Simon and Leah. Sometimes, Bram will catch Simon staring a little longer than necessary and his heart will begin beating uncontrollably fast, but then he’ll remember it’s _Simon_.

 _Simon,_ who stares at _everybody_ for too long and barely acknowledges Bram exists, aside from when Garrett mentions him in a story.

Bram never speaks a word to him all of freshman year. Simon doesn’t seem bothered.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It’s completely nerve-wracking, but he comes out to Garrett first.

They’re halfway through their sophomore year, post-soccer practice in Bram’s room doing homework. Garrett’s complaining about math when Bram interrupts him.

“Okay,” Garrett says without even flinching, continuing to flick his pencil between fingers. “If anyone gives you shit about it, I’ll kick their ass.”

And… that’s that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bram Greenfeld posts as _Blue_ in September of 2015, after the first day of junior year.

 _Sometimes it feels like I’m stuck on a tilt-a-whirl_ …

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day after, Bram’s the first to the table, followed closely by Garrett, who steals a handful of fries as he takes his seat. Stabbing a straw into his juicebox, he casually mentions through a mouthful of food, “You see _Creeksecrets_?”

“I don’t really check it.” Bram replies, stomach tying in knots. Last night, on the first day buzz, Bram thought it was an amazing idea. _Coming out without coming out_. It felt good to finally say _I’m gay_ to the school without the school knowing it was him.

“I’m not about to spiel some girly shit,” Garrett swallows, “but I’m here for you, dude.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

For a week or two, people speculate who Blue is, but after a little while, nobody cares. Everyone moves on, sinking their teeth into new gossip. Bram predicts junior year will pass without anything exciting happening, just as freshman and sophomore year had.

Bram still sits between Garrett and Leah at the table. There’s an _A+_ on his English papers, a _B+_ on his math. Simon still stares for too long.

Except, now he blushes when Bram meets his eyes. It’s a new development.

Bram can’t say he hates it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“If you like her, just ask her out.”

Simon’s voice is hostile, eyes narrowed slightly in Bram’s direction. He looks pissed, sure, but he also looks really cute. Like a puppy. Or an angry kitten.

Bram blushes, and Simon looks away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“ _Moon-gray_?” Garrett’s lounging on Bram’s bed, reading whatever Bram had doodled on his English worksheet. “I didn’t think you’d get in on the _Simon-looks-so-good-in-eyeliner_ kick the girls are on, but I forgot you’re a poet.”

Bram snorts, feet kicked up on his desk with his laptop on his thighs.

“Leah said charcoal, you say moon-gray, I say _pavement_. Boring-ass _pavement_.” Garrett huffs. There’s a pause, then, “I could pull off guyliner, don’t you think?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bram drags Garrett to see _Oliver!_ not once, but three times.

“You’re such a mess,” Garrett says on the last drive home, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of _Fine Life_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Simon hangs out with Bram and Garrett when he gets separated from his friends at the fair.

Fifteen minutes later, Garrett mysteriously vanishes into the crowd, leaving Simon and Bram alone. Nothing happens, obviously. Simon talks and Bram listens, never speaking in fear that he’ll make a fool out of himself.

Cute boys make him tongue-tied. _Simon_ makes him tongue-tied.

When the ferris wheel brings them to the very top, Simon squeezes his eyes shut. Bram looks at him then, so close for the first time, and thanks Garrett for ditching them.

The thing is, Simon’s very objectively pretty. Especially from this close up. Bram wants nothing more than to close the distance and kiss him, maybe suck a hickey into the pale skin of his neck. Watch Simon squirm underneath him as Bram jerks him off, right there atop of the ferris wheel. Atop of the world.

But that doesn’t happen. They get off after the second rotation and Simon returns to his friends.

“Sorry, man.” Garrett slaps Bram’s shoulder.

Sometimes, Bram wishes he wasn’t so chickenshit.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Garrett throws a party in March, all green for Saint Patrick’s Day.

Bram’s been drinking, maybe a lot.

Two college guys have been sitting with him for the past hour, chatting him up and Bram’s never been complimented so much before. It’s nice, getting attention from _boys_ instead of the onslaught of needy girls at parties.

These two guys—they’re so _nice_. Drunk-Bram doesn’t have a problem with leaving when they ask, wrapping an arm around each boy’s shoulder so he wouldn’t fall. Everything was spinning.

A car nearly hits them as they’re walking down the drive. Three doors slam, and through the bright headlights comes Simon, Nick, Abby and Leah.

“Hey, Bram,” Abby smiles, but her eyes are sharp. “Who are these guys?”

It occurs to him then, that he doesn’t really remember their names. He blinks once, then once more. It’s almost hard to focus, because everything sounds a million miles away.

The boys he’s with are swearing at Abby and Nick now, who shout right back. The dude on Bram’s left side pulls away, nearly allowing him to fall to the ground, but Simon’s there just in time and lowers him to sit on the cold grass.

From the way Simon’s standing in front of Bram, with his back to the car headlights, he looks like a literal angel. Then, suddenly, Simon’s _blushing_ and Bram slowly comes to the realization that he might’ve just said that out loud.

“Um—” Simon laughs nervously.

“Oh man, he’s out of it.” Nick laughs, wrapping Bram’s arm around his shoulders to pull him up. Simon rushes to get the other side. He smells like expensive cologne, but only faintly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After the party, something shifts.

Simon casually switches places with Leah at the lunch table. At first, Bram doesn’t think too much about it, tries not to psyche himself up too much. But then Simon begins to casually steal from Bram’s tray like Garrett does, and sometimes _gives_ Bram food. Mostly an oreo or two occasionally, claiming that Bram eats too healthy and needs to _live a little_.

Maybe Bram’s just imagining the shift as flirtatious. Maybe Simon does this with all his other friends—stealing and giving out food—but Bram’s only noticing now because he’s getting the treatment.

Either way, he hopes Simon never lets up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bram doesn’t remember much about the last party, but whatever happened must’ve been decently bad, because Garrett doesn’t leave his side at the next one.

 _The Next One_ , which was held by a student of their enemy high school. _Roman times_ was the theme of the party, so everyone was wearing a toga.

Garrett and Bram grab beers from the cooler and find a couch to sit on and view the party, scope out some babes for Garrett to flirt with. However, when Bram points out a pretty blonde, Garrett just says, “You know what I think you should do?”

Bram’s eyes flick over.

Garrett turns his head to stare, a smirk on his lips. “Ask Simon out already.”

“Horrible idea.”

“C’mon, dude. I’ve been forced to watch you pine for literal _years_ over this kid.”

“Nobody forced you.”

“Whatever. Listen—Bram _listen_ , don’t get up—he obviously likes you back.”

It’s too early in the party to be talking about this stuff, Bram’s way too sober. Garrett trails behind as Bram makes his way over to the bar, pouring four shots each. A few moments after downing them all, the party slowly becomes more bearable.

“He likes Cal Price.” Bram sways on his feet.

“No, _no_ , bro, no. He likes _you_ , I swear on every single God out there.”

“…You think so?”

“Yeah! I mean, who else does he share his food with? Nobody. But for some god-forsaken reason he lets _you_ steal his fries without a complaint and even offers you his oreos. Leah says oreos are sacred to him or some shit. He doesn’t let anyone have them, not even Nick.”

The boys wander out back, where a group sits on the patio furniture to smoke. A beer pong table is set up, and they get dragged into a game against two girls. As the game winds down, Nick’s group finally arrives and finds them.

“Leah!” Garrett shouts as Bram chugs a cup that the other team sinks, “You showed!”

“Unfortunately.” She says, before getting whisked off by Abby.

Bram throws a ball, sinks it into the last cup.

Here’s the thing: when Garrett’s drunk, he’s either super hyped or super down. It fluctuates, too, so this whole Leah-not-sticking-around thing must kill his hype mood. He wraps an arm around Nick’s shoulders, leaning in to groan a, “Why doesn’t she like me, Nick?”

“She’s Leah. She doesn’t like anyone.”

“Yeah, but.” Garrett stands straight, “I’m _hot_. Bram— _Bram_ —tell the truth—” He flexes, “I’m hot, right?”

Bram blushes. “Yeah, the hottest.”

There’s a moment where Garrett just _stares_ , a dopey smile on his face. “You know what? Maybe—maybe I should just stop trying to get Leah and go for you.”

“No,” Simon speaks up for the first time that night, eyebrows furrowed when Bram and Garrett look over. “I mean, Leah’s a really good person and you’re a…person… so I think you two would be good? For each other?”

“Why? You jealous I’m stealing your boy, bro?” Garrett asks, grinning like the cat that got the cream.

Simon’s blushing now, and it’s the cutest thing Bram’s ever seen. His heart hurts, as it always does around Simon. An achy, _longing_ sort of pain.

Nick ushers Garrett inside for some water, but Bram doesn’t follow. Simon doesn’t either.

Bram looks down at him and thinks back to Garrett’s pep talk, about how Bram’s been pining for _years_ and hasn’t made a move, despite Simon showing interest in the past few months. Sober-Bram knew it was true, that Simon had been flirting lately, but didn’t act on it. Drunk-Bram, however…

“Hey,” Bram says.

“Hi, hi,” Simon smiles, looking up. “I didn’t think it was possible, but drunk Garrett is a bigger douche than sober Garrett.”

“He’s alright.” Bram shrugs, going to take a sip from the cup in his hand, but finds it empty. When he takes a step towards the nearby keg, Simon steps in his way.

“Let’s go inside? Leah’s in there, and you probably don’t want Garrett to get to her first—”

“Simon,” Bram furrows his eyebrows, “Why would I care about Garrett and Leah?”

“I’m not _blind._ You like her, I saw you at the lunch table.”

Bram really wishes he wasn’t a coward, instead someone brave enough to just come out and say _I don’t want to bone Leah, I want to bone_ you _, Simon_. But even Drunk-Bram isn’t that brave. Liquid courage only goes so far.

“I don’t like girls.” Bram says.

So, maybe liquid courage _does_ go that far, because the words are out of Bram’s mouth before he even knows what’s happening. Simon’s lips are parted slightly in shock, eyes wide. It’s adorable, and a blushing Bram tells him so.

Flustered, Simon grabs his wrists and tugs him through the crowded party. A tipsy Nick and a drunk Garrett are beginning to rap Nikki Minaj on the karaoke machine, but Simon doesn’t let Bram stop to watch. Instead, they go up the stairs and into one of the spare bedrooms, Simon locking the door behind them.

The silence is slightly sobering, and suddenly Bram doesn’t feel too good.

“I thought you liked Leah.” Simon sits on the bed, rubbing a hand down his face as he sighs. “This is so awkward, oh my god. I told her you _like her_.”

There’s a long pause, where Simon must be waiting for Bram to speak. He doesn’t.

“Uh, so, about what Garrett said—”

“I like you,” Bram says quietly, “Possibly more than I should.”

“Oh my _god_ —” Simon groans, covering his face with his hands. “This is so— I don’t understand—”

“You have stupid _pavement_ eyes that always stare for a moment too long and you look breathtakingly beautiful atop of a ferris wheel.” Bram finds himself rambling for the first time in his life, “You helped me at the last party and sometimes you offer me oreos, but never offer anyone else.”

It’s a mouthful, doesn’t make sense and is half-slurred, but he means every word.

“If you didn’t expect me to fall for you, Simon, you’re crazy.”

There’s a silence afterwards, where Bram shifts on his feet as a nauseated, stressed _mess_. Maybe this wasn’t the best decision. After all, Garrett’s been wrong about things before. Often, actually. He’s _often_ really wrong about things. Bram doesn’t know why he took Garrett’s advice to ask Simon out. This is where it’s gotten him: an awkward silence.

“I’ve liked you for _weeks_.” Simon raises his head finally, eyes still just as wide as they were before. “I thought Garrett knew and was giving me shit for it. But all this time he was just… being a _wingman_?”

Bram furrows his eyebrows. “All this time…?”

“He’s been like—” Simon does some random hand gestures that don’t make any sense, voice shaking nervously. “ _I don’t know_ , just being a bit weird lately. I though, you know, he was just being a dick and making fun of my crush by talking about how cool you are all the freaking time, but he was just—”

“Garrett wouldn’t make fun of you for something like that.”

“I know that _now_.” Simon scowls.

Another bout of silence, an awkward one that lingers. Bram doesn’t quite know where to go from here. He’s never asked anyone out in his life.

“There’s a fair in Atlanta next weekend,” Simon finally breaks the silence, staring up at Bram with a small smile. He’s so beautiful. “I was gonna go with Nick and them, but I’d rather go with you.”

There's a happy sort of ache in Bram's chest.

“Yeah,” He breaths, smiling shyly, “I’d like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> i live for drunk bram. i live for bram period. what a guy
> 
> go hmu on tumblr @ idiotgrimes. send in prompts if you want\
> 
> (my excuse for the shitty quality of this work is that i didn't take a lot of time to edit it. cheers!)


End file.
